It's been almost a week. Yesterday & the day before I had off. Happy things just end so fast. Whole day today feel so moodless. Making a fake expression to show the staff that I have nothing wrong is just too hard for me to do it & maintain for these coming days. Even if they don't find out today, one day they will. Sometimes working in there I feel like giving up. How come they are enjoying & I'm not. I feel so lucky to still have friends who still giving me support to continue what I'm into now. Everytime when I leave home to my hostel, I feel like I'm leaving them for a long time even though it's just 3 days. For now I can only cry in my heart. This few days I've changed. Change into someone where most of them do not recognise me anymore. I can't seems to find anyone to talk about things & difficulties I'm facing now. I just don't know how to tell it out when they could listen me. Even if I can tell out, they just say it's my problems & no one can help me. All I can do now is just living in this whole uncomfortable months till I finish my training. I feel my life sucks. If only I'm not afraid of death then I'll do it & I mean it.
