Nite Mare~~~~~~~

I had a dream. It was not a dream but consider as a nite mare to me. I dun wanna talk about this nite mare. It's been haunting me these few days. After i had this nite mare, our relationship has been worsen. It's like an apple turning into rotten where by invaders like worms will come & attack it. If it happens, there'll be a hole in the apple. Just like a heart which has it's scar now. It can't be healed. Memory is always there. I feel pain. I feel unhappy. I feel so inhuman. There are moments I actually thought I live for what? Just go grab a knife & stab it. It won't only leave a scar but it leaves everything behind. Do I still remember all this things when I die? Things are getting worse day by day. I just don't have the purpose of living.