When???

After so many days, I thought I can get over it. But... It takes up a whole lot of sacrifice in order for me to let go of it. When can I end all these???

Too DEEP

I don't know. I don't know why. When I'm in the hole of unhappiness, why didn't you pull me back up? Why? Why do you keep pushing me back into it? I know you are an independent person. I am too. When you say you will go out with me, I'm super happy. Even if my friend did plan an outing with me, I'd still cancel theirs & go to yours. Cause I knew that we can hardly had a chance to see each other. So whenever you are free with me, I'll be the one there for you. But what about me? I don't know. It seems that friends is more important. More important than me. I don't know. How many days can others see me happy? I meant days, not minutes. Haven't been a day I'm happy. I know you are busy. I know that you know I can take care of myself. But I really don't know what to do. I always tell my friend that you love me a lot, you care for me, you really do find time for me. However, IT WAS A LIE? Am I wrong? I'm afraid. Afraid to ask you out. Afraid being reject again. Other people can look down on me. They can say bad about me. BUT HOW CAN YOU??? Thought YOU should be the one supporting me like how I supported you? How come I don't feel it? When I'm alone, were you there for me? I'm sick of sitting here in my room all the time when I'm at home. I rather be with you even if just in a house. I rather spend time with you watching television, eating together or even chat together. I can't feel it's happening anymore. I can't. Simple to say, I'll do my things, you'll do your things. We'll still be together. But... I really do hope it won't be ended by me. Like how you hope so. To be honest with you, I DO, still love you. Please do not let me loose this feelings cause I felt it's fading. Please. Show me that you love me. Pull me back from this hole... Please tell me that you are the one. If you don't pull me back up, I rather hurt myself every night like what I'm doing. Waiting for the day to come. The day of death.